Shame Based Dating

The Israelites had crossed the river Jordon in preparation to occupy the Promised Land and while all the males rested in the camp until they healed from being circumcised, God said to Joshua, Today, I have rolled away the shame of your slavery in Egypt'. So that place has been called Gilgal (to roll) from this day. (Joshua 5:9)

The Israelites who crossed the Jordon had been raised by parents who had been slaves in Egypt. Though they grew up in the wilderness, the shame of living in bondage and slavery had no doubt been passed on by the parents. God knew the legacy of shame would have sat on them like a dark cloud and affect their ability to fight once in the Promised Land. Therefore, He made a point of 'rolling it away'.

Has shame been part of your childhood history or been passed on to you by parent's who struggled with shame and acceptance? Have you said and done things that you feel ashamed of? Shame is a powerful emotion. It distorts our self image, stops us asking for what we need, prevents us from taking action, keeps us distant in relationships and causes deep emotional disturbances. Shame can prevent us from setting boundaries and doing the right thing or feeling forgiven and free.

In dating, it can cause us to share too much too soon because we are afraid we will be rejected once they know all the facts. It creates insecurity and preoccupation with whether he or she accepts us or not. We also don't feel an equal person to our date. Shame can also cause us to hide from dating, withdraw from feeling too close or abort a relationship early. It can also put us with people who create similar feelings of shame. No wonder God wants to heal it!

God is powerful and can do for you what He done for the Israelites and that is to roll away your shame. Ask Him to begin the process of that for you today.

Further Reading on line:
Shame is a common social experience, rooted in exchanges between people. It may grow out of public humiliation, or from experiences within our families. Shame is communicated when there is harsh criticism, neglect, lack of affirmation, abasement, contempt or ridicule by significant others. Shame can also be fostered by experiences in the Christian community. Experiences of public exposure, judgment and rejection sometimes happen in the name of Christ. http://www.elrophe.org/mental-health-articles/21-healing-from-shame
Shame Based Dating, Written by Joanne Robinson Copyright, Love in Season 2012

Welcome

Rejection in Dating

My people shall be satisfied with my goodness, saith the Lord (Jeremiah 31:14)

The people that know the Lord can expect to be satisfied with His goodness towards them. This is a promise that God makes to those who often struggle with never measuring up or feeling good about themselves. It is also a promise to those who fear dating rejection.

Often Christian’s make the mistake of thinking that rejection in dating is not a risk because the Lord will protect them from it. There is nothing in the Word that states God will stop us feeling or being rejected. It is also not a sign that we made a wrong choice to date because we were refused.

Dating rejection is often part of the process of meeting the right one, so accepting that we might need to meet a few before the right person shows up can help reduce our anxieties about dating.

My favourite author Charles Spurgeon, presses the question, if we are not satisfied with God’s goodness, what will? The right person is unable to be our source of goodness and the hungry soul will not find satisfaction there but the Lord promises to content us and would not say so it if it was not possible.

When we experience His goodness and are satisfied, getting to know someone despite the fear of their rejection becomes manageable to us. His goodness helps us to cope with disappointments and therefore we won’t freeze up and stop trying again after a rejection.

If our souls have found God's goodness and knows that He is for us, who can really be against us? Let us press on to know that Lord and not fear what man can do.

Rejection in Dating - Written by Joanne Robinson
Copyright, Love in Season 2012